Biebs - Is it too late to say I’m NOT sorry???
About a month ago, I shared my views on choosing a different failure response in my own life (See: "The F-Word" below) – But, what about my response to other peoples’ failures? Working in baseball, I am around young men who are typically failing 70-80% of the time. What kind of coach am I if I encourage bad responses to failure?
This is how it usually goes:
Friend/Husband/Co-Worker: “Omgosh, I have the worst life ever!”
You: “Omgosh, you DO have the worst life ever! I’m so sorry!”
Son/Wife/Sister: “It’s okay, but thanks for being so supportive and realizing I have the worst life ever!”
Listen carefully. Friends, family and strangers alike, I WILL NO LONGER SUPPORT YOUR SELF PITY.
I was recently having a conversation with a friend who told me that he broke up with his girlfriend. My immediate, unbridled response was to break out in loud laughter. When he asked me why, I explained the paradigm shift that I am hoping to create in my life. Choosing a different failure response. My reaction to him breaking up with his girlfriend was actually a joyous one. It seemed that their relationship wasn’t going to work out… Hence, he will most likely meet someone else that is more aligned with what he wants (He’s stellar – I mean, a real gem!). Now that he is out of this dysfunctional relationship, he will have an opportunity to meet a new woman. But if he had chosen to drag it out, he wouldn’t have that opportunity. SO, why on Earth would I be sad for him? I am ECSTATIC for him! This is similar to how I feel about my own ‘failures.’ I’ve started making my best attempt to view them as exciting. I have already been practicing a more effective failure response in my own life, why not practice with my friends, co-workers and family as well?
Here’s the thing – in 2 years, they’re going to see this as a ‘blessing in disguise.’ So why not just rip off that disguise 2 years early and see it as a blessing right away?! Seems like a waste of 2 years if you ask me! In fact, …WHAT IF… you could free your failure from it’s Halloween costume (most likely the grim reaper) in the very moment that it is trampling all over your parade? What opportunities would you stumble upon that you might miss if you were vehemently announcing to the world how much you hate your job/boyfriend/sister? Again, wasting time.
This is my current response for anyone who is sharing their failure story with me: I’m NOT sorry and, CONGRATULATIONS!!!
If you decide to put this in to practice with your friends - beware, this might offend some people. Not very many people enjoy hearing about the positive side of getting fired, getting in a car accident, or even enduring a serious health issue. However, if they choose to view my response as unfavorable, they can easily turn to the large majority of their other acquaintances and friends that will most likely join their pity party and drag out the process of grieving their failure wayyyy past where it needs to go. I am just making a conscious decision to not be a part of it.
Stop Supporting a Bad Practice,